Behind the Noodle Curtain

Asian dating sites, part 3: Looking in Thailand

There are thousands of photos and profiles of girls on the Asian dating sites. Take an  example of a typical Thailand profile. She’s pretty, she’s young, about 28, she’s available. She lives in a province of Isaan, Thailand. She speaks “some” English. She works in a hair salon. She’s looking for a suitor in the 40-55 age range. You are admiring her pictures and are considering clicking that icon that says “Show Your Interest” in the hopes of exchanging messages and maybe even making a date.

You look on the four photos, blinded by her more than average  looks, and you suddenly realize that’s a hotel bed in the room. Huh? Other pictures start to look very suspicious. A girl is casually  lying on a hotel bed. Or standing near the open door of a hotel toilet, obvious from the hotel style shampoo and soap hanging about. Or sitting in the posh lobby of a hotel. Or sitting at a bar table with foreign males all around and wearing a low-cut top and hip-baring jeans. Or posing in a photo that's been cropped in half to remove the BF, past (or present) tense. Or leaning on the railing of a fast motorboat with the Mediterranean in the background. Or sitting in the seat of a European sports sedan with a distinctly European architecture dressing the background. Or sitting on a white leather sofa in an Italian villa. Or wearing a beautiful designer blouse, with jewelry decorating the neck and cleavage, as well as a pair of designer sunglasses holding back red-dyed locks.  I could go on. Huh! I already have.

I’ve seen all of these examples on Thailovelinks.com website, probably one of the better  online dating services.  So as not to portray TLL as the only dating site or only one harboring The Three Types, there are dozens of others. Each showcases a mix of eligible girls, of which there are three types:  pay-for-play service providers; "ordinary" girls who learn how to play a number of foreigners at the same time; and a few, very few,  "ordinary" girls who might, maybe, possibly could be genuinely out to find the "one" guy. But don't hold me to that statement. Because it really, really is all about the money. And if they're on a dating site, you will very likely lose the bet if you bet against me.

Your choice will depend on what you’re looking for, of course, and which dating site.  As I said, straight pay-for-play is frequently available at the drop of an instant message. Just look for the photos I described above. Heck, they don't even have to be that risque. Now, the second type of girl is available in huge quantities. Yes, a gal has to hedge her bets, but it seems the country girls (Isaan, in particular) have MBA level skills in marketing and manipulation.

There have been hundreds, if not thousands,  of stories of guys accidentally hooking up with a Type 2 date. Several recent correspondents to Stickman (Brokenman tales, by an Englishman, Aug. 31 and Queen of Lies and Deceit, by a Canadian, Aug. 21,  2009) have told disappointing or harrowing tales about girls they've met on dating sites, Thailovelinks in one case.

That was kind of a long digression there. Back to our theme: Thailand dating site.

Many girls certainly can't  afford to have a couple of decent photos shot and buy internet time to upload a nice selection. You can see many such examples. Among the more general picture problems: out of focus, poor resolution, little or no lighting,  inappropriate makeup, poor clothing,  wrong angles, and my favourite, the girl seemingly shot from the next province with a point-and-shoot camera -- you can hardly tell the gender.  So I guess I can assume that with all of these mistakes, putting up a photo shot on a hotel bed is no more or no less than just another mistake.

I will take, any day, a picture shot in the natural light, with the girl wearing no makeup, probably in back of the farm, with rice fields flowing off into the distance. That scene tells me a lot more: there’s truth of purpose there, unlike the photos shot in the fancy digs.  As for the latter, the message is that  the girl has been auditioning other men, shall we say. And yes, they’ve been auditioning her. Fair enough.
Here are some general findings about  Thailovelinks girls:

• TLL is just one of many in an Australian company’s huge portfolio  of worldwide dating sites
• Has thousands of Thai girls as members, and a few from Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos
• Most are from impoverished provinces, especially those in northeastern Thailand, otherwise called Isaan in Thai
• Very good interface, with quick links at top of member’s page. Annoying refresh function from site that, yes, does update member situations, but sometimes mucks up multiple open tabs for the site
• Profile template as limited as other sites’ profile formats. You don’t learn much about the girl through the boilerplate profile format and, because she frequently can’t say much in English, there’s little to go by except the photo album. Many do write in Thai, and fortunately there is a superb Thai-to-English translation website
• TLL is very careful to issue warnings about scams and it repeatedly show tips such as “never send money to a stranger you’ve met over the net.” TLL is very quick to delete scam posts
• Some may like this feature about the profiles but there are a quite few "working girls" on the site. But also I think there  are some legit romance seekers however
• Regular free membership upgradable to gold and platinum for cash. You cannot read messages from interested girls unless you go to gold

This is just one person's experiences with one service, although I checked out some others. The latter  seemed especially good at pawing at your wallet and throwing  ad links in your face.

In conclusion, I found it all rather frustrating, possibly thinking an introduction website might give me some leads. I made many contacts but 98.5% of them wilted after the first exchange. My biggest downfall, other than not throwing promises at their loving feet, was that I was far away. Distance makes the heart grow cold, methinks.

I actually do have one teacher in mind for my visit in December. She, who lives in Ubon, seems to be agreeable. We'll see how it goes and whether I'll ignore all my findings above. I'll report, good or bad.

That's probably all you'll want to read this time out. Next part, I will describe my experiences with chnlove.com dating site for mainland Chinese girls.

Advertising vs. editorial: What would Stickman do?

There's one issue concerning Stickman that I've been having trouble with for some time. That  is, how close Stickman may/may not be  to the advertising on his very popular Thailand site.  The issue is one of the relationship between the functions of advertising and editorial. In my view, there is one incontrovertible fact: The two are necessarily separate.

If an issue comes up in story research and it concerns a regular advertiser, what will the web site operator do? Will he suppress the news? Will he dance around the issue? Will he leave out details that he knows will affect his reporting of an issue? Will he turn out a piece on the subject that totally ignores the issue, such as this scenario.

Imagine you are writing on the environmental practices of a small successful factory, focusing on reduction of resource usage. On the surface, it appears to be doing all it can to recycle, reuse and reduce resource usage. But as you focus on resource usage, other things crop up and show the company is letting things slip on recycling. Yes, your story is about usage. Would you merrily go on to write the piece and turn your head when an employee tips you that the company has buried some of its problems?

A related issue is one where the web site operator is planning to write on a subject and subsequently thinks that it might attract advertising.  What would he do? Well, the answer is found in the practices of big news companies. When a multi-story subject is in the works, the advertising department will know ahead of time when it's to be published and will try to sell the idea to ad space buyers.  A savvy small-time web site operator would do the same. But the small time operator, wears both hats and the big-time operator has completely separate advertising and editorial departments. The small time operator could creatively tailor  a single feature to the advertiser's need. That's a danger in the dual-hat setup. But what can you do when you're a one-person operator?

I've recently gone back to reading Stickman, or more to the point, to see where the site sits in terms of my expectations. I got some good impressions, as I said before. Stick is putting his full effort into the site and it feels better and fresher. Then I read the recent article on fetishism. Actually, I only started reading it but fell out of it because I just don't give a you-know-what about the subject. So I scrolled down to his bar news updates and at the bottom of the weekly column is a banner ad for a fetishist web site. Hmmm. Cue, red flags!

Maybe other Stickman readers noticed, too. Between the June 21 column, Spicing it Up, the Bangkok Fetish Experience," and the July 5 column, Stick must have felt the sting of questions and needed to explain a thing or two to readers. At the bottom of his July 5 weekly column he devotes a few hundred words to reader complaints that he ". . . used this column to enrich myself.  That is of course complete bollocks."

Well, I had to go back and read the fetishist/BDSM column. He mentions three clubs, two in BKK and one in Pattaya, then he goes to have a look at one club's service, Bar Bar in Patpong. He does a straightforward report of his experience and research on others, providing a balanced view of services and comes away with a good impression of the places as "clean, safe and professionally run." Period. Actually, I have to admit my reaction to the article's intentions and good balance was fairly positive.

The following weekend, interestingly enough, he wrote in Once Sweet Girls how bars and prostitution ruin people, both providers and customers, and issues a warning. He makes himself pretty clear where he's coming from when he says:

"Every week I try and bring you all the latest bar news, where to get the best deal to where the prettiest girls are.  Now I'm going to turn it all on its head and tell you that the bar scene can be bad news.  If you have any sort of addictive personality or are unable to keep it in perspective you should consider avoiding it.  No, I'm not kidding.  It could ruin your life and it could contribute to harming these women's lives too."

Here's a fellow keeping readers up to date on naughty night life  but warns them of the pitfalls, namely  the  potential to ruin  their lives and those of the women who work in it. That's an admirable balance.  Bangkok and the rest of Thailand are wonderful places to visit and rich with experiences that only these places can provide. But there can be a price to be paid and he doesn't curtain that off. He sees the pitfalls and damage that can accrue and lays out warnings through his fair and balanced column.

Could you really ask for anything more? I'll continue to read Stick and I'll watch for any backtracking, as you should because, the man wears  two hats, advertising and editorial. I don't really care if the manager of Secrets, one of Stick's favourite bars and one he's mentioned numerous times, buys him a beer.  But I'm encouraged to believe  that if he's standing somewhere between principle and selfishness, he'll side with principle and write fair and balanced reports and recommendations. 

But, as they always say in LOS, up to you.

NB: I do not know Stickman and never met him or any of his friends. He appears to be following me  on Twitter but I'm not 100% sure it's really him.

Images: bars and other features in Surin, Thailand, Part 2

Back in Surin, but this time my photos show the streets and other features of the small city. Most of the photos were taken in March this year, during the hot season. Whoa! 38, 39, 40 C every day.

I stayed at the Thong Tarin for two weeks and just wandered around, relaxing mostly, going for espresso at a shop closer to the bus station, owned by a Lao-speaking  lady and her sister, and one on the other side of the station, owned by Canadian Brian from Vancouver. Then it was brekkie at the Farang Connection or  N & N's on soi Kola. That got me to 1 in the afternoon, then it was back to the hotel to cool off for a while and a nap.

Then I was back out around 4 or 5 for a beer, then my second and last meal of the day.  Then a break at the hotel for shower and bit of TV watching. Then it was out to the bars on Sirirat and Kola till the wee hours. Sometimes, I had a noodle soup or other meat and rice dish in front of the 7-11 on Sirirat  very early in the morning. Good food. And just sat there watching the arrivals and departures of the local female population on their motorcycles. Strange but most of the travellers were girls.

Couple of curious Bangkok buddies came up for a few days to see what Surin was all about. I don't think they were impressed but were happy to check it out anyway. Or at least that was what they told me. After two weeks, I was ready to pack it in because touring in the heat of the day was just too harsh, as my friends found out one day when we walked the city. I was going to go on to Sisaket and Ubon Ratchathani, toward the Lao border.  But I'm keeping those visits till this coming winter when the daytime temps are under 35.

So here we go (by the way, all pix were taken by my trusty Canon point and shoot, namely SD850is):

 

Brian and partner, shown, at their espresso shop, which drew a lot of Thai businessmen and ladies. It faces the Majestic Hotel and bus station. It's also a 10-minute walk to the train station, behind this building.

Walk away from the bus station to the rail station along this soi and turn right.

       

 

Hmmm, came across this on a tour of town.

     

Left to right, the Surin Mall that looks like a KFC (pix 1 & 2); a Chinese temple near a night market; and the sign of an elephant, the city being famous for its annual (November) elephant roundup.

  

Came across this spectacular dinner setting  being readied  for the evening. Don't know what the celebration was for. Anyone read Thai?

   

Must transportation in Thailand, motos are used for everything and anything, this one being modified for hauling whatever.

 

I came across this "temple," still under construction. Don't know what it is for as there was no English on the signs. I asked several residents and they could not tell me -- or they didn't understand me, which is the more likely. Anyone know?

   

   

That's it for now from Surin.

I leave you with a bit of "elephantics". I had a barside view of our be-trunked friend eyeing our beer on our table at The Oasis in Surin. And, no, that's not his scooter. Photos taken with iPhone so not so great.

 

 

Images: bars and other features in Surin, Thailand, Part 1

I needed to escape Bangkok  at the end of December and so I did what any farang would do: go to Isaan. OK, maybe the smart guys go to the beaches of the south, such as Krabi, Pha Nga, Phuket, Hua Hin. I just don't do beaches. I do not enjoy lying on the beach in the blazing sun or sitting on a patio drinking impossibly sweet cocktails and  overlooking an ocean. Oceans scare me. Rivers are OK, because I can see the other side. Oceans have no side. I can't relate to them as they seem to cause some kind of short-circuit in my brain.

So off to Isaan. I have already posted some pix of Korat, my first stop. I've also covered Buriram, which I visited a couple of months later. So it's Surin's turn. In pictures. Well, quite a few more than I posted before. And I just happen to have hundreds more so you're stuck with them.

Why Isaan? It's is the source of labour for most of the rest of the country. Surin province and the rest of Isaan (39 provinces) are poor, really poor. So the kind folks there are easily lured by the money of the big towns, beach towns and cities, especially Bangkok. And, as I said before, it's mostly the region's women who migrate.  You might call this trip, going to the source. But really, I just wanted out of the intensity of Bangkok for a while. It's an all-out assault on the senses, which can be a good thing, but, like getting too much of something, you need to  forcibly remove yourself before you overload and do something like drown in a hot tub full of ice cream, or in my case, Singha with a Sang Som chaser.

Long winded intro over . . . I'll put the images in two category posts: hotels and bar district, then streets and related features. "Bar" is a popular key word in searches, which I noticed in my blog's site stats. The other biggies are, in no particular order,  Thai girls, Isaan, Washington Square, karaoke, Buriram,  etc. So I'm just going to let the photos roll with the odd comment thrown in:

 

From the top floor of the Thong Tarin Hotel, off Sirirat Road, which is seen crossing in behind the blue awning. The truck or van, running left to right in front of the 7-11, is on Sirirat. The street heading away from the view has two farang restaurant/bars, as well as a hi-so resto. Off in the distance, behind Nong Bua (lake), is the top-rung (for Surin) Majestic Hotel.

Closer view of the road leading to the bus station, just off to the right and out of view. On this street, in a kind of square. On the left side, is the well regarded Farang Connection, and to the right, across the street, is a Norwegian bar/resto, named after a motorcycle club. Scandinavians will find some of their fave foods there. Picture right is a closeup of the Majestic (900 baht a night and up. Thong Tarin is 400 baht and up, but mostly 740 or so). 

 

View out the Farang Connection, owned by Englishman Martin and his Thai wife. Good food and beer at reasonable prices. Across the street, where you see plants and green awning, is the Norway bar/resto, The Oasis.

        

Driveway to Thong Tarin, immeidately on right is outdoor resto then the Caesar Karaoke, then the entrance to the hotel. Continue down the drive to the left of the hotel entrance and you will find a large massage place, otherwise known as a "soapie."

The outdoor beer garden and resto with the blue awning, plus the building with the green roof also  belong to the Thong Tarin complex. Behind the green roof, on Sirirat, you will find many Thai bars, beer bars, food places, and around the next corner, go-go's, disco, coyote bars and the rest, some basic, some quite nice. As well, you will have no trouble finding girls. 

 

Here we are, "around the next corner" -- the entrance to main bar street, soi Kola. (I've seen it spelled Cola, but Kola seems to dominate.)

        

     

Top, from left, Speed3 disco (pic 1); coyote bars Sixties and Hard Rock (I think that's name); then looking back toward Sirirat on Kola are karaokes and the like (pic 3); Thong Tarin seen from Kola (pic 4); closeup of Rose Queen soapie behind the TT (pic 5); and the back of Speed3 (pic 6).

 

The visit started here at the Surin Railway Station. See part 2 of this post to follow. If you want any further info on the city, you can go to Surin Farang website and click on Forum. There's also the Isaan sub-forum at Thaivisa.com.

Eating on and off streets of Bangkok, Part 2

Two Bangkok restaurants face each other on soi Cowboy, Old Dutch, left, Corner Place, right. Which is the author's favourite? Read below.

I'm kind of unhappy about  the fact that I failed to take very many picture of my meals. I love food shots on webs sites but I guess I was so mission-hungry sometimes that I forgot about my always-present point-and-shoot camera. Sometimes I only had my iPhone camera but it does take a good shots of static subjects, such as meals. Meals tend to stay put. And the camera has image stabilization function. So if I'm well oiled, the Canon SD850is makes up for shaky moments.

Sukhumvit Road is kind of the spine of Tourist Bangkokl. It runs roughly northwest to southeast, with a bit of it running east-west. It's an old city so don't expect the kind of engineering marvels represented by plumb lines and surveyors laser 'scopes. Suk is claimed to be the longest street in Thailand. It goes from soi 0 in the west to I don't know how many soi 100+ in the east. From 0 to whatever, you can eat any hour of the day or night. On the street. Off the street are many more single-cart vendors to what I call open kitchens (restaurants but with open frontages and typical plastic chairs and tables that are rounded up each night) to fancier sit-down meals in air-con conditions to mass-market fast-food eateries that blight some blocks and malls of Bangkok.

A few of my faves off the street:

*Darn if I can remember the name of a Japanese owned resto with western and Asian food up Thong Lor (soi 55), lefthand side, about 100 metres. Unusual takes on western and eastern foods. Kind of a fusion style but, well, you'll have to try it. But let me mention the outstanding drip coffee they serve for 80 baht. Yummmm. A friend told me about this place near end of my 7-months stay. (I will seek the proper name and insert it.)

Looking back to Sukhumvit, this is alley leading to Gunn's Lady Apartments. On the left is great espresso bar, right is great pork noodle soup. It's also great spot to watch apartment dwellers come and go, ahem.

*Between 53 and 55 (odd soi's on north side of street), under the Thong Lor Skytrain platform,  is a narrow alley leading to Lady Gunn Apartments. I can assure you there were lots of ladies in and out of that apartment. I know because I spent many an hour there in the outdoor cafeteria style tables eating great pork noodle soup, sliced chicken on bed of rice and Thai espresso. As you enter this subsoi, on the left there's rice and chicken vendor, then pans of pre-cooked food,  then noodle soup lady; on right as you enter is espresso/juices/drinks bar and then tables. Each side is covered for rain/sun. Two laundry machines sat at the far end. 

*Heading inbound to soi 24 (south side) is Emporium, a high-end mall with expensive jewelry and clothing, and occasionally discount stuff. But the fifth floor holds a huge food court, where fave Burger King resides. Just before I left, Mosburger, a Japanese burger chain (I'm not making this up), r just moved in and will probably take customers from BK. Mos offers a huge selection of burgers, regular as well as those made from tofu, vegetables, salads, etc. Yep, I'm not making this up. I know guys who love this stuff. I never got a chance to try it. Also there's Sunrise Tacos. (I was warned off this shop.) There's another recommended one in a plaza past soi 14 and Times Square Building. I had some good beef there, but otherwise, quite unremarkable. Manager though speaks perfect English.

Just some of staff at Londoner, plus Danish customer who shows up in many of my pix. These t-shirts are old uniforms. They're now wearing smart black outfits and camel coloured vests, except the beefeater hostess girls, Racky and Pat, left to right.

*Soi 33 corner (almost across from 24, but a little more inbound) is the site of my most visited bar-restaurant, the Londoner. The western and Thai food is excellent, and the German brewmaster's house-brewed Pilsner is better than average. He admits he'd like to tune up the bitterness, which I approve, but it would turn off many Thai and some western customers. Yes, many Thais go there. It's a barn-size of a place, not my preference generally, but staff are great.

A Toronto friend introduced me to the place and all his friends there, which has been a wonderful experience. I ended up hanging out with these guys and gals my entire time in Bangkok. The bar has 99 baht a beer Mondays, half-price food Tuesdays and 2-for-1 booze Wednesdays. The entire week, from 5 to 7 p.m., it's 2-for-1 beer happy hour. But the downside is, the food and booze is extremely expensive, except on specials nights. The house Pilsner and and Creamy Bitter is 160 baht a pint. That's $5 Cdn. Thai meals are the cheapest but still way too expensive, at 160 baht and up. Western meals are 200 baht and  the sky's the limit. As an example, a Pilsner and meal would easily hit 500 baht. And the Londoner charges the VAT on top of the prices!

There it is on the signboard, breakfast for 130 baht, but including biscuits and gravy. Must be an American thing. Or is it English? Inset picture, lower left, of burgers being grilled for free Sunday lunch.

  *Just before soi 22, is an alley leading to Washington Square, which curls around to soi 22, down soi. You will find very good food in this sort of second-tier bar street. The Silver Dollar serves a free lunch on Sundays and good meals from a limited menu. It's where I had what I thought was the best western breakfast in Thailand. Eggs, fried potatoes in onions and lots of bacon for 100 - 130 baht, depending on the day's signboard. I and friends have eaten other meals there and were rather impressed. Next door is Texas Lonestaar (image right), which does a free lunch on Saturdays. I have not eaten there otherwise.

*Farther along is the very good Bourbon Street (image left), which specializes in Cajun and Mexican foods. Had my best hamburger there. And farther along and around a corner is Hare and Hound (image right). Eaten there four or five times and it was always very good, especially brekkie. 
*Speaking of soi 14, go down soi 20 metres and dead ahead and slightly right, is another open kitchen with really good food, but bad service. Had larb gai there. Ummm, ummm. That's a salad-like Isaan food with really spicy meat. Can be chicken (gai) or pork (muu). You can order it a little bit spicy  (phet nid noi).

 *Got ahead of myself geographically . . . back outbound and across Sukhumvit is Asok and soi 23, which leads to the soi Cowboy go-go bar district. The latter, by day, is a busy little street that leads to the MRT subway stop, Asok. Both Asok corner and soi Cowboy also have numerous on-street vendors but also several restaurants.

Bought some really nice spring rolls and sweet sauce at Asok corner one afternoon, just outside the MRT entrance. Also had fried breaded banana slices. Ummm, good. But these food vendors quit in the evening and make way for the illegal booze bars that operate all night at Asok corner. See the colourful umbrellas of the food sellers in the image at left.  The booze bars open around 11 p.m. and remain till 4 or 5 a.m.

The Corner Bar, also known among us as Tiger's Bar (Chinese-Thai owner's nickname), although I think its official name is something I cannot remember. Great food.

At the corner of 23 and Cowboy is Old Dutch restaurant and Corner Bar, across from each other on Cowboy. I really didn't much like the food at the Old Dutch, although the English brekkie was dependable (and expensive, 195 baht). The Corner Bar, which I think has another name or two, has really good Chinese-Thai food, 40 and 50 baht. Rice and noodle dishes, with good stire-fried vegetables and meats. I ate there two to five times a week. By far my favourite place.

*Now back across Suk and inbound to soi 8 is Soi 8 Bar, a New Zealander owned place, with a very personable owner. Very good and bountiful  food and well priced drinks, especially at happy hour. Customers there are mostly foreigners, well dressed and well behaved. But still a casual place, with friendly, well trained  staff. The latter is not common in the town. It offers a free barbecue food on Friday nights. But be there by the start at 7 p.m. because once the last customer is served, they close the grill.

I'll try to add more here as I remember them, but this is a pretty complete list of my memorable food haunts. Of course, I've eaten at the giant MBK and Fortune Town IT malls, Huay Kwang market, Siam Square, but not the food court at Siam Paragon which people compliment, and too many other places.

Happy eating!

Brilliant reader story on Stickman -- Thai girls not so innocent

[Update: clarifications]

I've been reading Stickman again recently. It's kind of refreshing to go back to Stick's pages. He's a late-30s-early-40s New Zealander who's lived, partied and taught in Thailand for about 7 or 8 years, I believe. He writes a weekly column on local topics and issues, and rounds up the latest bar news and rumours. It's a very popular site as is his weekly column. He has fans and detractors. I'm a fan.

For a long time, while teaching, he had to filter out any bad language and soften the night life reports and reader submissions. He's recently quit teaching (on a high note, he reports) and I think it shows. The columns and reports have more life, as it were. Maybe it feels fresh to him too since he can take the gloves off, so to speak.

I just had to take up this subject because of the brilliant reader submission he published May 5, 2009. Fantasy and Reality by "Mega" (pen name). I think any newbies to Thailand MUST read this report and maybe, maybe, save yourself some heartaches and vast amounts of money. 

For the western mind, it would appear to have a searingly cynical streak throughout. But if you read it, understand what he's trying to say and commit it to memory, then the cynicism should eventually wash away and leave you with a greater appreciation for fantasy worlds. After all, think of how many Disney Worlds, Wonderlands and other such distractions do the same thing. Only this male fantasy world involves an entire country. 

I will have some remarks later, along the lines of, this guy is writing from his own perspective, which is not the only one. Yet a lot of the details and observations are bang on. First, do read the lengthy submission, which is written beautifully and has the pace of a hugely satisfying short story. 

Warning 1: To those suffering from extreme  political correctness and/or a western superiority complex, this may do you some good. Warning 2: The language is colourful. 

The piece is written in the framework of teacher and student. Here's a taste:

From Fantasy and Reality, Stickman, May 5, 2009

"Is there anything straight up in this country [Thailand]?"

"Not often. The truth is though that we, more often than not, end up the same way. That's just the way it is. You adapt to living in the environment you're in. If you don't, you'll get chewed up and spat out. That's why a lot of us that stay here for a long time can't go back to where we're from. We get used to living a life of sensory overload. The fantasy world of living life on the edge. The reality is it's got a lot to do with the beauty of these women here, they're almost addictive. The problem is, learning to control the situation so you can enjoy it but not have it spiral out of control."

Tour of classic Vietnam war-era bars in Patpong district of Bangkok

The notorious Patpong bar district held no appeal for me, until I had one of the best nights ever in Bangkok.

A friend was keen to meet up after a funeral wake in the area back in early February. Met him at the Cosmos bar around 5 in the evening in soi Patpong 1. My Danish friend explained that this was one of the many classic, old-style Bangkok bars from the Vietnam war era.

Well, that didn't exactly sell me on the idea of going to Patpong. It's got a reputation for high-pressure drink sales, ripoffs and a threat-like atmosphere, not to mention that overall it's got a low-rent feel and look. I also had to admit that Vietnam-war era bars didn't send thrills up and down my spine. I envisioned 60-year-old vets still wearing their giant aviator sunglasses in dark bars and barely able to hold their heads up from the weight of alcohol and secret information in their heads from "ops" in Laos and Cambodia. (BTW, I've met guys like this so this isn't BS.)

Meeting over pizza at the Madrid, the group expanded into about a dozen by late evening as we added one bar after another to our tour.

Jannik and I had such a good time we decided to stay in the area until, well, beyond normal human consumption and sleep levels. We proceeded to visit three others (Madrid, Crown Royal, Executive Lounge, and Electric Blue go-go -- we couldn't resist the promo girls outside) and returned to the Cosmos. Twice! Afterward we told everyone we met, especially at the Cosmos, that we'd be back. Took more than two months but I'm so glad I did. 

Fast-forward to the weekend of April 11-12. As my last last act as a temporary resident of Bangkok, I wanted to go to the Patpong classic bars. It was a good choice and bad choice. We had a fantastic time, the dozen of us. It was bad because I would be leaving right after having one of the best nights ever in my Bangkok sojourn.

The meeting place was the Madrid at 7:30 p.m. The place  is small, with a long bar, paralleled by a row of comfortable banquettes, only about a metre and  a half separating them and the bar stools. I like that cosiness. The bar has a solid reputation for really good pizza. How could one lose?!?!? Well I proceeded to do exactly that by eating about two hours before hitting the Madrid, on Patpong 2 -- that's the street with the burgeoning and highly annoying night market. I was so hungry by 5 o'clock that I and another cohort wolfed down some classic open-face sandwiches (yes, with gravy, of course) at the Soi 8 Bar. Plus we had some Happy Hour liquid refreshments.

We met up with some of the tour crew at the Madrid. A few Heineken drafts and delicious slices later (two of our crew ordered medium pizzas and had to offload some) and we were off to the Cosmos on Patpong 1, just about my favourite bar in Bangkok, along with the Silver Dollar in Washington Square. Different reasons for each. So about 10 of us invaded the Cosmos.

 

Our posse settles in along the Cosmos bar, as one member, right picture, American Al -- 42 years in Thailand and counting -- shows he's still got the moves.  One of the great things about Bangkok is the international nature of the ex-pat residents. In picture at left, reading from far left, we have German, Danish, Dutch, Dutch, American, English (just out of frame) and Malaysian.

I like the shape of the bar. It's square, with a square bar area in the middle. The bartenders are fast, friendly and the booze is not overpriced. A Singha is 80 baht, Sangsom whisky around 70 and they have ice cold Jagermeister. I think that was about 100 a shot. Imported liquor is expensive everywhere in Thailand because of the heavy tariffs.

Surrounding the bar area are comfortable couches and tables, which are just close enough to the bar you're never out of reach. And it makes for  a very cosy atmosphere, which is fairly dark thanks to the low lighting and dark bric-a-brac on the walls. Of the hostesses, many speak English quite well and they are extremely friendly. They all seem rather a happy bunch, which, to me, reflects the fact they like to work there because of the clientele and management.

The clientele is local, so to speak, because right nearby is a big business district. Any bar wants to attract the after-office hours crowd. The clientele is a good mix of Thai, English, American and Japanese.

I'm going to let the pictures talk for a moment. (BTW, all pix are from my iPhone camera, which has a pretty poor 2.0 megapixel lens and no flash.):

 

 
 

The author makes his first appearance on these pages. That's me, Rick, in the right picture, snuggling up to a couple of friends with Mark, right. The girls are friends of our English friend Paul seen in the picture at left, with beer, and friend David, with his ever present "business" mobile in hand.

So after a couple of hours at the Cosmos we went down to the end of soi 1 to Pink Panther go-go bar, at the request of Paul. Quite the selection of girls. Good music. Will have to go back. So we trudge up the soi toward the big business area, with Silom Road as its spine. But we meet American Al, 42 years in Thailand. I know a Dane who's been in the Kingdom for 51 years. Amazing Thailand, eh?

Without hesitation, Al says "follow me." We go to another classic bar, Goldfinger. It's a cross between a go-go and bar bar.  I enter the place after seeing off some guys who want to go to neighbouring Pussycat Collection (!!!). Al tells us seriously that it's been renovated.  All I can think is, that's a good thing. Actually American owner Randy welcomes us with free shots, punctuating the delivery of same  with a swing of the metal tray into a high arc in the bar atmosphere. It comes down onto the concrete floor with an ear-splitting clatter. It's a ritual, apparently.

Several of us, including friends Jannik and Ronnie hear the call of the Cosmos. We decided to go back. By now there's only a handful of us at the Cosmos. Others have spread out around Patpong. A couple enjoyed a good talk  in the quiet atmosphere of the Crown Royal on Patpong 1, right near Electric Blue. I do remember visiting it back in February and it was a lovely space, wide and comfortable, but it was fairly empty compared to other bars. We didn't get much attention from staff in terms of service. So we drank our beers, paid and left without hearing any sawut dee ka. Kind of wrote it off, although I would like to give it another chance. It had some very attraxtive hostesses.

Here's where my memory gets cloudy. I do know we had a boatload of fun at the Cosmos, visit No. 2, and I do remember thinking that I'm going to go back the following night, my last night in Thailand. And I did. That's another story.

Escape from Bangkok -- a sad day in many ways

[Update:  clarifications]

That headline is a little over dramatic. But I was glad to leave Thailand on Songkran, the Thai water festival that helps people cool off in the hot season and look over the horizon to the rainy season.

I went to Soi Cowboy for the annual water fight this afternoon. What a great time. It was a good thing to do because it made me forget this was my last day in Thailand and forget there was fighting in the streets and people dying.*

But the reality hit me when I returned to the hotel soaking wet and happy and then caught sight of the TV reports. Soldiers were sending volleys of bullets somewhere in the city. Vehicles and buildings were on fire. Then  on the way to the airport military APCs, tanks and trucks greeted me. There were no blockades or checkpoints. Even the airport didn't seem to have any heavy security.  

Not much else to say about the Thai civil war, or maybe I should call it Bangkok civil war, since it's all about two elites securing their grounds.

I will add, I do think most people in Thailand are very, very unhappy about what this is doing to the perceptions of the kingdom around the rest of the globe. Look at the debacle of the ASEAN summit. A   few thousand protesters invaded the conference hotel seemingly without much resistance and made  prime ministers and foreign ministers flee for their lives.

I'll write about the water festival later. I'm writing this from Hong Kong airport (free wi-fi everywhere!!!) but am exhausted from the night life, water festival activities and depressing story taking place still in the city.

*More accurate information from news agencies and Thaivisa.com says one person  died but not from military actions, which apparently were fairly restrained. Local residents tried to complain to the "red shirts" who are said to have killed one person. No details on a second unverified death. So no direct deaths are attributable to soldiers.

**A YouTube video shows former PM Thaksin exhorting his "troops", i.e., red shirts to take action. He lets slip that they are being paid  500 baht a day to "protest."  A popular revolt it is not.

 

Bangkok toilets can be pleasant environment and sometimes unisex adventure

What is the bane of many travellers? Finding a toilet, especially if you've been drinking  like a fish or have eaten something fishy.

One thing you never lack for in Bangkok is good, clean, widely available and accessible toilets. They are  everywhere in malls, squares, bar areas, public buildings and shopping areas.

They seem to be always well kept and clean by one or more attendants. You usually, though not always, have to pay a couple of baht. I've paid as much as 10 baht in a hotel beside a street bar area. It was 10 baht well spent.

Some of the toilets are the squat variety. Doesn't work for me if you need more than a urinal. Some mall toilets have both squat and sit-down seats, seemingly oriented toward western visitors. And most have toilet paper, though not all. If no TP, then it's the sprayer. Frankly, I look for the sprayer variety. I'm told that TP is not well handled by the sewage treatment system.

One thing you never find in Bangkok toilets is hot water taps. Call it tepid water. But it's good enough. You'll also find hand dryers and occasionally paper towels. Usually though there's nothing to dry your hands with, except your jeans.

Oddly enough, bar toilets tend to be unisex. You'd be leaning into a urinal and a girl comes in and goes to the stall or touches up her makeup. Then you line up behind her to wash your hands. She smiles and heads out into the crowd. Or you walk in and a female attendant sits at a desk across from the urinals. You do your business and smile on the way out. Sometimes they hand you a paper towel.

Sometimes, the girls will joke with you as you're relieving yourself. "Need help?" "Can I hold?" "When you go?" "Take too long." Then she busts out laughing. Ladyboys sharing your private moments are even more entertaining, conversationally speaking.

I was at two bars recently in which staff behind the bar and anyone sitting at the bar can see you standing at the urinal, or there's some flimsy split curtain wafting in the fan breeze, giving many patrons a view of your activity. I remember in my first couple of visits to Bangkok being a bit squeamish about the openness of toilet facilities. Now, the whole issue is a yawner.

Many toilets though in bars and restaurants  will have this single towel hanging up, which you are meant to dry your hands on. Usually it's quite wet. Now, you ask yourself, did the toilet visitor wash his hands or simply swipe the towel? Here's when wiping your hands on your trousers becomes a viable option.

Some places will have stacks of dry, small wash cloths to dry your hands and face with. You toss it into the basket on the floor.

Most of the time, Bangkok toilets are quite pleasant facilities, with marble counters, potted plants and decorative bits between the urinals or statues of Buddha or deities standing on the floor. 

A few images from street bars in Bangkok

 

A soi 15 bar underway. This is just outside the infamous Thermae coffee shop, which is owned by the police.

Bangkok is a 24-hour city. When the bars close around 2 a.m., the street bars take over. Actually, they usually open about 11 p.m. and shut down around 5 a.m., some earlier, some later, depending on whether they have customers. If there are customers, some will stay open until the last one stumbles to the hotel or home, well after the sun comes up. All the customers are foreigners.

There have been a couple of times I've sat outside at a street bar while office workers and business people scurry by on their way to work. They stare in disbelief, which is a little unusual for Thai people. Believe me, they're just as surprised to see us as we are to see them. And it's a little, oh, shocking to realize you've been up all night.

But I have vowed not to repeat that practice.

The bars are located along Sukhumvit Road from about soi 4, eastward to soi 19. That's a long strip. then they ring a nearby corner of Asok and Sukhumvit, on the outlet for the go-go bar street, Soi Cowboy.

Each soi corner has its food and booze outlets. The 7-11's and Family Marts do a roaring business all night on sales of cigarettes, whisky and sweet snacks.

And there are always lots of girls scouting customers for their bars or sex encounters. Hundreds of them. Mixed in are female shop, hotel and mall workers just out for maybe some chance meeting with the very desirable foreigner.

An Asok street bar and happy customer.

Also mixed in are the always entertaining lady boys, recognizable by the way they tend to exaggerate  female appearances via fashion or cosmetics, or are constantly flipping their long tresses or trying to wiggle out a sexy walk.

It's hard to take pictures at night without resorting to a flash. It's also a bit risky to take pictures in this type of setting because some people don't wish to be discovered making alternative cash or being a customer of sex services. Or maybe the guys told their wives they're in Bangkok on business and not out boozing all night. (Image right, the mouth-torturing Isaan specialty som tam, which is vegetable and meat, laced with chilis. Isaan girls live on this stuff.)

As I've said before, the entire scene, selling alcohol and sex, is illegal. But the cops have been paid off, as they are everywhere in Thailand. So as long as the cops get paid a pittance, they find other ways to make money. And they make a lot of money.

Now on with the images. Most have been taken with a mobile phone camera so are not too great:

 

A camera-shy waitress on soi 15.

Busy bar on soi 15, with beer, whisky (bad and good), vodka, gin and other liquids.

 

Singha beer (Thai) and Sang Som rum (Thai whisky).