Behind the Noodle Curtain

Are you a traveller or a tourist?

I wonder what it would be like to stay in a Bangkok hotel like the big name ones along Sukhumvit Road or Silom. Long graceful driveways, fancy metal work or bamboo logos, heavy plant pots and palm trees adorning the driveway, Mercedes-Benzes and BMWs lining the walkway (maybe even a Toyota Land Cruiser and Range Rover are allowed, as long as there are only two), big polished brass framed doors, guarded by country boys dressed up like cruise ship captains, low lighting inside, fawning greeters, million-watt smiles, heavy teak (“reclaimed,” of course) check-in desks, shimmering tile floors, whisper quiet elevators, colourful embroidered passcard holders, luxurious linens and silks on the bed, complimentary guest basket . . .

I’ve never been in the world famous Oriental Bangkok on the Chao Phraya River but this is how I imagine things to be. Have a look at the hotel’s web site photo player.   Decadent, eh? Wouldn’t you like to sit at the windows shown in the photo montage and gaze at the river day or night.  Looks beautiful indeed.

Now how many of those guests get out onto the street and mix with the locals? A few, I would imagine. Yet I can see how sitting in these beautiful surroundings would be very satisfying and comfortable and habit forming.  But everyone has to get out of the hotel once or twice and I can imagine these folks would move by private car to the flower market or Emerald Buddha or jazz club at Victory Monument or Silom. And watch out the window of the Merc and see  and smell the food carts and moto taxis and open sewers. Then again, most German sedans have air filtration systems, so maybe the passengers would be insulated from the real world just outside the tempered, sun-shielded, double-paned glass. 

At the Oriental, a 40 square metre “cheap” room is $365 U.S. a night, or about 12,000 baht. My room on soi 19 (Honey Hotel) is $27 or 900 baht. It’s very decent actually. Central to everything and I walk. Prefer to walk. Prefer to experience things firsthand, such as getting a whiff of a wok full of chillis, or khao muu daeng (barbecue pork and rice) , or  coffee sludge from a street cart, Or ducking and diving among moto taxis, or taking in the figure of a slim, brown-skinned Thai beauty,  and should I be half asleep while walking,  nothing quite wakes me up like a good wallop of a nearby khlong.

I was reminded of all this by two things. I attended the screening of an archival  print of a 1932 film, Shanghai Express, starring Marlene Dietrich (Cinematheque series). When she enters a scene in dirtiest Beijing (or “Peiping,” in the movie), she arrives with just the most outlandish feathers, black gown and dainty hat and face veil one could ever imagine. Scene after scene she pulls clothes from what is  truly the most inappropriate travelling wardrobe for a hot, dirty, arduous trip through civil war China.  Her fellow travellers wear, layers and layers of clothing, medals, hats and whips, reflecting their wealth and political status.

The second thing I saw was a transit shelter ad that said: Be a traveller, not a tourist. Lonely Planet, you might think? National Geographic subscription? Train travel? Nope. An ad for a credit card giant that starts with the letter “A” and is often used to describe a nationality from North America.

I’m not at all sure what the difference is between traveller and tourist. But I would think that if you need a credit card for all your travels, we won’t be seeing each other on the street.

FYI Canadians: Air Canada slashes fares to Asia for short time

Couldn't believe it the other day when I got a web mail from Air Canada offering fares to HKG, Beijing, Shanghai and Tokyo, among others, all for less than $400 one way. That's a tick either side of $1,000 Cdn return with all taxes and surcharges in. Best  fare I've seen. My previous best was $1,280 through to BKK using AC in May 2008.

If you're headed to Bangkok, Air Asia and Thai fly from HKG and the timings between airlines is perfect. AA is $178 Cdn return and Thai, of course, is twice that at $390. Still, for THAI, that's a deal. Both fares all charges included.

Must book by July 15 (but don't be surprised at further discounts down the road) and pay immediately. I used Toureast, which I've used for a few years now, and they cut the fare even more.

Cathay Pacific, my preferred airline, is matching some of this AC discounting but CP didn't have a flight near the dates I wanted to go, which is mid-December. I'd already booked with CP (didn't have to pay till October, unlike AC) for under $2,100. I've now cancelled that and saved about $1,000, which is just under 30,000 baht. That, as you know, goes a long way in Thailand. Woohoo!

Images: bars and other features in Surin, Thailand, Part 2

Back in Surin, but this time my photos show the streets and other features of the small city. Most of the photos were taken in March this year, during the hot season. Whoa! 38, 39, 40 C every day.

I stayed at the Thong Tarin for two weeks and just wandered around, relaxing mostly, going for espresso at a shop closer to the bus station, owned by a Lao-speaking  lady and her sister, and one on the other side of the station, owned by Canadian Brian from Vancouver. Then it was brekkie at the Farang Connection or  N & N's on soi Kola. That got me to 1 in the afternoon, then it was back to the hotel to cool off for a while and a nap.

Then I was back out around 4 or 5 for a beer, then my second and last meal of the day.  Then a break at the hotel for shower and bit of TV watching. Then it was out to the bars on Sirirat and Kola till the wee hours. Sometimes, I had a noodle soup or other meat and rice dish in front of the 7-11 on Sirirat  very early in the morning. Good food. And just sat there watching the arrivals and departures of the local female population on their motorcycles. Strange but most of the travellers were girls.

Couple of curious Bangkok buddies came up for a few days to see what Surin was all about. I don't think they were impressed but were happy to check it out anyway. Or at least that was what they told me. After two weeks, I was ready to pack it in because touring in the heat of the day was just too harsh, as my friends found out one day when we walked the city. I was going to go on to Sisaket and Ubon Ratchathani, toward the Lao border.  But I'm keeping those visits till this coming winter when the daytime temps are under 35.

So here we go (by the way, all pix were taken by my trusty Canon point and shoot, namely SD850is):

 

Brian and partner, shown, at their espresso shop, which drew a lot of Thai businessmen and ladies. It faces the Majestic Hotel and bus station. It's also a 10-minute walk to the train station, behind this building.

Walk away from the bus station to the rail station along this soi and turn right.

       

 

Hmmm, came across this on a tour of town.

     

Left to right, the Surin Mall that looks like a KFC (pix 1 & 2); a Chinese temple near a night market; and the sign of an elephant, the city being famous for its annual (November) elephant roundup.

  

Came across this spectacular dinner setting  being readied  for the evening. Don't know what the celebration was for. Anyone read Thai?

   

Must transportation in Thailand, motos are used for everything and anything, this one being modified for hauling whatever.

 

I came across this "temple," still under construction. Don't know what it is for as there was no English on the signs. I asked several residents and they could not tell me -- or they didn't understand me, which is the more likely. Anyone know?

   

   

That's it for now from Surin.

I leave you with a bit of "elephantics". I had a barside view of our be-trunked friend eyeing our beer on our table at The Oasis in Surin. And, no, that's not his scooter. Photos taken with iPhone so not so great.

 

 

Images: bars and other features in Surin, Thailand, Part 1

I needed to escape Bangkok  at the end of December and so I did what any farang would do: go to Isaan. OK, maybe the smart guys go to the beaches of the south, such as Krabi, Pha Nga, Phuket, Hua Hin. I just don't do beaches. I do not enjoy lying on the beach in the blazing sun or sitting on a patio drinking impossibly sweet cocktails and  overlooking an ocean. Oceans scare me. Rivers are OK, because I can see the other side. Oceans have no side. I can't relate to them as they seem to cause some kind of short-circuit in my brain.

So off to Isaan. I have already posted some pix of Korat, my first stop. I've also covered Buriram, which I visited a couple of months later. So it's Surin's turn. In pictures. Well, quite a few more than I posted before. And I just happen to have hundreds more so you're stuck with them.

Why Isaan? It's is the source of labour for most of the rest of the country. Surin province and the rest of Isaan (39 provinces) are poor, really poor. So the kind folks there are easily lured by the money of the big towns, beach towns and cities, especially Bangkok. And, as I said before, it's mostly the region's women who migrate.  You might call this trip, going to the source. But really, I just wanted out of the intensity of Bangkok for a while. It's an all-out assault on the senses, which can be a good thing, but, like getting too much of something, you need to  forcibly remove yourself before you overload and do something like drown in a hot tub full of ice cream, or in my case, Singha with a Sang Som chaser.

Long winded intro over . . . I'll put the images in two category posts: hotels and bar district, then streets and related features. "Bar" is a popular key word in searches, which I noticed in my blog's site stats. The other biggies are, in no particular order,  Thai girls, Isaan, Washington Square, karaoke, Buriram,  etc. So I'm just going to let the photos roll with the odd comment thrown in:

 

From the top floor of the Thong Tarin Hotel, off Sirirat Road, which is seen crossing in behind the blue awning. The truck or van, running left to right in front of the 7-11, is on Sirirat. The street heading away from the view has two farang restaurant/bars, as well as a hi-so resto. Off in the distance, behind Nong Bua (lake), is the top-rung (for Surin) Majestic Hotel.

Closer view of the road leading to the bus station, just off to the right and out of view. On this street, in a kind of square. On the left side, is the well regarded Farang Connection, and to the right, across the street, is a Norwegian bar/resto, named after a motorcycle club. Scandinavians will find some of their fave foods there. Picture right is a closeup of the Majestic (900 baht a night and up. Thong Tarin is 400 baht and up, but mostly 740 or so). 

 

View out the Farang Connection, owned by Englishman Martin and his Thai wife. Good food and beer at reasonable prices. Across the street, where you see plants and green awning, is the Norway bar/resto, The Oasis.

        

Driveway to Thong Tarin, immeidately on right is outdoor resto then the Caesar Karaoke, then the entrance to the hotel. Continue down the drive to the left of the hotel entrance and you will find a large massage place, otherwise known as a "soapie."

The outdoor beer garden and resto with the blue awning, plus the building with the green roof also  belong to the Thong Tarin complex. Behind the green roof, on Sirirat, you will find many Thai bars, beer bars, food places, and around the next corner, go-go's, disco, coyote bars and the rest, some basic, some quite nice. As well, you will have no trouble finding girls. 

 

Here we are, "around the next corner" -- the entrance to main bar street, soi Kola. (I've seen it spelled Cola, but Kola seems to dominate.)

        

     

Top, from left, Speed3 disco (pic 1); coyote bars Sixties and Hard Rock (I think that's name); then looking back toward Sirirat on Kola are karaokes and the like (pic 3); Thong Tarin seen from Kola (pic 4); closeup of Rose Queen soapie behind the TT (pic 5); and the back of Speed3 (pic 6).

 

The visit started here at the Surin Railway Station. See part 2 of this post to follow. If you want any further info on the city, you can go to Surin Farang website and click on Forum. There's also the Isaan sub-forum at Thaivisa.com.

Desperate times in Bangkok, reports one Thailand blogger

The business scene in Bangkok when I Ieft in April didn't look too promising. Bars were empty of tourists, the streets were empty of same. Granted, it was the hot season. But you could see the signs in the weeks leading up to that period. There were many nights at the Londoner bar at soi 33 Sukhumvit in which customers were few and far between. It's a big place, but it was almost empty on Monday nights when pints were only 99 baht or Tuesday nights when meals were 50% off, and even some Thursday and Friday nights, it seemed the customer count was very low. Others with more Londoner Pilsners under their belts than me concurred.

There's a bar I used to frequent in Washington Square. I'd been around when the bartender counted the tips for the nightly draw for the girls. Some were walking away with only 40 baht, others 100 or a bit more. I was told the hostesses were used to 200 to as much as 300-plus baht from the nightly drink tips. 

It must be even worse now after Thailand managed to shoot itself in both feet over the winter and spring. Since the airport seizure in November, there have been numerous negative events: refugees being set adrift in the ocean without food and water, murders of foreigners in the streets and hotels, the David Carradine incident and police trying and failing to deflect the cause, a tourist being jailed and humiliated for lifting a bar mat (not saying who was at fault here), not to mention the riots in April, ruinous breach of security at the ASEAN summit and former PM directing demonstrations from offshore. 

All have added up to a very, very, very negative image of the country. Add in the world economic sickness and you've got a recipe for plunging tourist visits. It must be really bad, too. An expat   Thailand blog, Bangkok Blogger, recounts several stories of  families desperate enough to willingly sell their daughters to make ends meet. Best let him tell it. Because all the events happened to him. 

A very good related story about the plummeting tourist industry  appears at FrogBlog Thaidings. It was from this blog item that I followed a link to the report of encounters with desperate families.

 

Eating on and off streets of Bangkok, Part 2

Two Bangkok restaurants face each other on soi Cowboy, Old Dutch, left, Corner Place, right. Which is the author's favourite? Read below.

I'm kind of unhappy about  the fact that I failed to take very many picture of my meals. I love food shots on webs sites but I guess I was so mission-hungry sometimes that I forgot about my always-present point-and-shoot camera. Sometimes I only had my iPhone camera but it does take a good shots of static subjects, such as meals. Meals tend to stay put. And the camera has image stabilization function. So if I'm well oiled, the Canon SD850is makes up for shaky moments.

Sukhumvit Road is kind of the spine of Tourist Bangkokl. It runs roughly northwest to southeast, with a bit of it running east-west. It's an old city so don't expect the kind of engineering marvels represented by plumb lines and surveyors laser 'scopes. Suk is claimed to be the longest street in Thailand. It goes from soi 0 in the west to I don't know how many soi 100+ in the east. From 0 to whatever, you can eat any hour of the day or night. On the street. Off the street are many more single-cart vendors to what I call open kitchens (restaurants but with open frontages and typical plastic chairs and tables that are rounded up each night) to fancier sit-down meals in air-con conditions to mass-market fast-food eateries that blight some blocks and malls of Bangkok.

A few of my faves off the street:

*Darn if I can remember the name of a Japanese owned resto with western and Asian food up Thong Lor (soi 55), lefthand side, about 100 metres. Unusual takes on western and eastern foods. Kind of a fusion style but, well, you'll have to try it. But let me mention the outstanding drip coffee they serve for 80 baht. Yummmm. A friend told me about this place near end of my 7-months stay. (I will seek the proper name and insert it.)

Looking back to Sukhumvit, this is alley leading to Gunn's Lady Apartments. On the left is great espresso bar, right is great pork noodle soup. It's also great spot to watch apartment dwellers come and go, ahem.

*Between 53 and 55 (odd soi's on north side of street), under the Thong Lor Skytrain platform,  is a narrow alley leading to Lady Gunn Apartments. I can assure you there were lots of ladies in and out of that apartment. I know because I spent many an hour there in the outdoor cafeteria style tables eating great pork noodle soup, sliced chicken on bed of rice and Thai espresso. As you enter this subsoi, on the left there's rice and chicken vendor, then pans of pre-cooked food,  then noodle soup lady; on right as you enter is espresso/juices/drinks bar and then tables. Each side is covered for rain/sun. Two laundry machines sat at the far end. 

*Heading inbound to soi 24 (south side) is Emporium, a high-end mall with expensive jewelry and clothing, and occasionally discount stuff. But the fifth floor holds a huge food court, where fave Burger King resides. Just before I left, Mosburger, a Japanese burger chain (I'm not making this up), r just moved in and will probably take customers from BK. Mos offers a huge selection of burgers, regular as well as those made from tofu, vegetables, salads, etc. Yep, I'm not making this up. I know guys who love this stuff. I never got a chance to try it. Also there's Sunrise Tacos. (I was warned off this shop.) There's another recommended one in a plaza past soi 14 and Times Square Building. I had some good beef there, but otherwise, quite unremarkable. Manager though speaks perfect English.

Just some of staff at Londoner, plus Danish customer who shows up in many of my pix. These t-shirts are old uniforms. They're now wearing smart black outfits and camel coloured vests, except the beefeater hostess girls, Racky and Pat, left to right.

*Soi 33 corner (almost across from 24, but a little more inbound) is the site of my most visited bar-restaurant, the Londoner. The western and Thai food is excellent, and the German brewmaster's house-brewed Pilsner is better than average. He admits he'd like to tune up the bitterness, which I approve, but it would turn off many Thai and some western customers. Yes, many Thais go there. It's a barn-size of a place, not my preference generally, but staff are great.

A Toronto friend introduced me to the place and all his friends there, which has been a wonderful experience. I ended up hanging out with these guys and gals my entire time in Bangkok. The bar has 99 baht a beer Mondays, half-price food Tuesdays and 2-for-1 booze Wednesdays. The entire week, from 5 to 7 p.m., it's 2-for-1 beer happy hour. But the downside is, the food and booze is extremely expensive, except on specials nights. The house Pilsner and and Creamy Bitter is 160 baht a pint. That's $5 Cdn. Thai meals are the cheapest but still way too expensive, at 160 baht and up. Western meals are 200 baht and  the sky's the limit. As an example, a Pilsner and meal would easily hit 500 baht. And the Londoner charges the VAT on top of the prices!

There it is on the signboard, breakfast for 130 baht, but including biscuits and gravy. Must be an American thing. Or is it English? Inset picture, lower left, of burgers being grilled for free Sunday lunch.

  *Just before soi 22, is an alley leading to Washington Square, which curls around to soi 22, down soi. You will find very good food in this sort of second-tier bar street. The Silver Dollar serves a free lunch on Sundays and good meals from a limited menu. It's where I had what I thought was the best western breakfast in Thailand. Eggs, fried potatoes in onions and lots of bacon for 100 - 130 baht, depending on the day's signboard. I and friends have eaten other meals there and were rather impressed. Next door is Texas Lonestaar (image right), which does a free lunch on Saturdays. I have not eaten there otherwise.

*Farther along is the very good Bourbon Street (image left), which specializes in Cajun and Mexican foods. Had my best hamburger there. And farther along and around a corner is Hare and Hound (image right). Eaten there four or five times and it was always very good, especially brekkie. 
*Speaking of soi 14, go down soi 20 metres and dead ahead and slightly right, is another open kitchen with really good food, but bad service. Had larb gai there. Ummm, ummm. That's a salad-like Isaan food with really spicy meat. Can be chicken (gai) or pork (muu). You can order it a little bit spicy  (phet nid noi).

 *Got ahead of myself geographically . . . back outbound and across Sukhumvit is Asok and soi 23, which leads to the soi Cowboy go-go bar district. The latter, by day, is a busy little street that leads to the MRT subway stop, Asok. Both Asok corner and soi Cowboy also have numerous on-street vendors but also several restaurants.

Bought some really nice spring rolls and sweet sauce at Asok corner one afternoon, just outside the MRT entrance. Also had fried breaded banana slices. Ummm, good. But these food vendors quit in the evening and make way for the illegal booze bars that operate all night at Asok corner. See the colourful umbrellas of the food sellers in the image at left.  The booze bars open around 11 p.m. and remain till 4 or 5 a.m.

The Corner Bar, also known among us as Tiger's Bar (Chinese-Thai owner's nickname), although I think its official name is something I cannot remember. Great food.

At the corner of 23 and Cowboy is Old Dutch restaurant and Corner Bar, across from each other on Cowboy. I really didn't much like the food at the Old Dutch, although the English brekkie was dependable (and expensive, 195 baht). The Corner Bar, which I think has another name or two, has really good Chinese-Thai food, 40 and 50 baht. Rice and noodle dishes, with good stire-fried vegetables and meats. I ate there two to five times a week. By far my favourite place.

*Now back across Suk and inbound to soi 8 is Soi 8 Bar, a New Zealander owned place, with a very personable owner. Very good and bountiful  food and well priced drinks, especially at happy hour. Customers there are mostly foreigners, well dressed and well behaved. But still a casual place, with friendly, well trained  staff. The latter is not common in the town. It offers a free barbecue food on Friday nights. But be there by the start at 7 p.m. because once the last customer is served, they close the grill.

I'll try to add more here as I remember them, but this is a pretty complete list of my memorable food haunts. Of course, I've eaten at the giant MBK and Fortune Town IT malls, Huay Kwang market, Siam Square, but not the food court at Siam Paragon which people compliment, and too many other places.

Happy eating!

Eating on and off the streets of Bangkok, Part 1

The vendors sell food on the run around Huay Kwang market.

[Confusing posts: I had to delete twice because of browser incompatibility. See note below*]

When in doubt, write about food and show pictures. Okay, I'm being a bit lazy now. I find it hard to write about a country that's 12,000 plus km away. Though I miss it, its life is not within reach, I can't look across my balcony (image at right) and look at the sunlight streaming across the constant blue skies, cannot hear birds scrabbling and scrapping, can't hear the food vendors hawking their fruits and vegetables through their PAs, can't feel the  heat radiating from my balcony floor, can't hear the Thai news on TV, can't smell and hear Bangkok (I'll not miss the sounds of construction everywhere in this burgeoning city).

Food in Thailand is unforgettable. You can eat anywhere, anytime, and inexpensively. But I noticed myself changing my diet over the six months of living in the City of Angels. More later.

I had a number of regular eating places. The soup lady on soi 36, at the intersection where my sub-soi (soi Napha Saap 2)  joins 36 (see image left, right about where the black truck is), offered the tastiest and biggest bowl of noodles I have ever had in the city. An amazing 25 baht (85 cents Cdn). I always gave her 30. I'd passed her by many times until my friend Paul, who also lived in my apartment building, raved about her food.

Before that I used to visit soi 38, next soi eastward off Sukhumvit. A busy, busy night market that generally opens from about 4 p.m. And stays open till about 4 a.m. Great selection of noodles, fried rice, noodle soups, various other rice dishes with meat and veg, and quite the selection of Japanese and western food. The latter was a twice the price or more of Thai food but you are getting more in volume and variety. The Japanese food kitchen offered "sets", the latter are more likely to be known as combos. A "meat loaf" would come with veg, some potato, miso and  salad. For 85 to 120 baht.

I lived near Thong Lor, or soi 55 Sukhumvit. North on 55, you'd come to what I called TOPS market plaza. It has a formal name but I can't remember it, just like no one can say the entire formal name of Bangkok . TOPS had a huge amount of Thai, Japanese and Western foods, prepared or raw. There were also Segafredo and Starbucks coffee shops, plus  iBerry cafe, and what turned out be my best backup food joint, namely . . .  Burger King. It's expensive at 150 baht ($5 Cdn) for a Whopper combo, but it was good and possibly there was another reason -- it was open 24 hours! Beats McKrap by a good margin. I ate along Sukhumvit quite often (note, even numbers are on south side, odd on north side):

      

*At soi 33 -- fried rice with chicken or pork, noodle soup, and "fire" phad thai with bleedingly hot shrimp and noodles (You can ask for "phet nid noi": a little bit spicy, or "mai phet": not spicy; or kill yourself: "phet mahk mahk" (Image, far left, shows 7-11 at 33 where food vendors set up at night; second left image shows nearby open kitchen)
*At soi 22 -- noodle soup, sliced chicken or steamed pork on bed of rice, and fried rice, chicken or pork (see third image above);
*At soi 23 (actually soi Cowboy) -- you can have anything your eyes and/or mouth would accept, from fried bugs, deep fried chicken, grilled pork balls and cabbage with chilis to  death-defying som tam (killer salad), and even french fries or onion rings, which showed up in the winter (that's tropical winter, folks, that is, temps dip to 32 in daytime;
*At soi 15 -- great noodle soup available all night till 4 a.m.;
*At soi 13 -- grilled pork, chicken or beef;
*At soi 11 -- just about everything available.

Image note: fourth one above showing pans of cooked foods, is from Huay Kwang night market.

Along the way you will see single vendors of fruit slices, fruit juices, spring rolls (image at left, shows rolls from Asok), deep fried or grilled  fish and shell fish, breaded banana, kebabs of grilled meat and vegetable slices, pancakes and various sweets, fried bugs, even beef burgers.

I've eaten at all these places. But do not take this as  "Recommended Eateries" list. It's not exhaustive. There's a thousand other places on the street to eat in Bangkok. One thing to note: I do not eat at places with no customers. You will see them. You will also see places with full tables of customers. Eat there.

This is part one of my Thai food tour. Part two coming up . . . hopefully sooner rather than later.

*Note: I had to delete this post twice because  picture/words composition was falling apart. So sorry about any confusion. For geeks in the  crowd, I was using Safari browser for the first time on Typepad. Couldn't adjust picture positions at all and so went back to Firefox, which works perfectly.

Brilliant reader story on Stickman -- Thai girls not so innocent

[Update: clarifications]

I've been reading Stickman again recently. It's kind of refreshing to go back to Stick's pages. He's a late-30s-early-40s New Zealander who's lived, partied and taught in Thailand for about 7 or 8 years, I believe. He writes a weekly column on local topics and issues, and rounds up the latest bar news and rumours. It's a very popular site as is his weekly column. He has fans and detractors. I'm a fan.

For a long time, while teaching, he had to filter out any bad language and soften the night life reports and reader submissions. He's recently quit teaching (on a high note, he reports) and I think it shows. The columns and reports have more life, as it were. Maybe it feels fresh to him too since he can take the gloves off, so to speak.

I just had to take up this subject because of the brilliant reader submission he published May 5, 2009. Fantasy and Reality by "Mega" (pen name). I think any newbies to Thailand MUST read this report and maybe, maybe, save yourself some heartaches and vast amounts of money. 

For the western mind, it would appear to have a searingly cynical streak throughout. But if you read it, understand what he's trying to say and commit it to memory, then the cynicism should eventually wash away and leave you with a greater appreciation for fantasy worlds. After all, think of how many Disney Worlds, Wonderlands and other such distractions do the same thing. Only this male fantasy world involves an entire country. 

I will have some remarks later, along the lines of, this guy is writing from his own perspective, which is not the only one. Yet a lot of the details and observations are bang on. First, do read the lengthy submission, which is written beautifully and has the pace of a hugely satisfying short story. 

Warning 1: To those suffering from extreme  political correctness and/or a western superiority complex, this may do you some good. Warning 2: The language is colourful. 

The piece is written in the framework of teacher and student. Here's a taste:

From Fantasy and Reality, Stickman, May 5, 2009

"Is there anything straight up in this country [Thailand]?"

"Not often. The truth is though that we, more often than not, end up the same way. That's just the way it is. You adapt to living in the environment you're in. If you don't, you'll get chewed up and spat out. That's why a lot of us that stay here for a long time can't go back to where we're from. We get used to living a life of sensory overload. The fantasy world of living life on the edge. The reality is it's got a lot to do with the beauty of these women here, they're almost addictive. The problem is, learning to control the situation so you can enjoy it but not have it spiral out of control."

Can't entirely blame Thai bank for mishaps

[Update: Completing story]

I've  been somewhat distracted with banking issues these last three weeks. I've been trying to repatriate some cash since mid-April from my Thai bank. It's a good bank. In Bangkok, I had terrific service from Kasikorn Bank, the branch at the corner of  soi 33 Sukhumvit. Very well organized, fast service and very helpful and friendly.

One always gets the feeling  that though many there speak quite a bit of English, they are uncomfortable speaking the language. I would too since it's such a tough language to become comfortable in. So many damned exceptions for every rule. And complicated verb, adjective and adverb forms and endings. Bah! Even native English speakers make a ton of mistakes in speaking and writing. I should remember to inform Thai people about this.

Anyway I will spare you the details about my banking problems. Reading about them will make you wonder why I even bothered to get up everyday these past two weeks. The beginning starts in Bangkok with inputting my PIN incorrectly three times during an ATM withdrawal (four cards with three PINs were enough to confuse me one night). That blocked my card. It was the same weekend as the State of Emergency declared in Bangkok (Songkran weekend). So the banks closed, I couldn't get the card unblocked with the correct PIN and I absolutely had to take the return flight  to Canada, booked so many months ago, on April 13.

The following days of missteps, miscues, mistakes and misapprehensions would make your eyes bleed. This involved emails never read, bank phone lines screwed up, defective home phone equipment, online banking security surprises, even a non-starting motorcycle. All conspired to extend my period of helplessness to more than two weeks.

Last night, I discovered that the money I want transferred to Canada seems to have been taken from my account and a typical fee charged. So I can only guess that I will receive the money any day now. Fingers and legs crossed.

Note: it's been almost nine days without a post. So sorry. Being back at work, as in five days a week work, tends to be a time killer. I will try to catch up over next few days.

Note 2: Yep, the money came through the following week. Though I never got a response to my emails, looks like they fulfilled my request based just on an email. Then again they do have my email on file and I did tell them exactly what was in the account. Happy now . ..

Easy transition back to Canada from Thailand -- sort of

Jetlag problems were minor since coming home to Canada two weeks ago today, which was a pleasant surprise. I usually suffer for seven to 10 days. I had even come home a week in advance of resuming work to reorient myself. And I fell into the work mode quite easily, with "finger memory" carrying me through the daily grind of computing and creativity.

This is a different planet here in Canada compared with Thailand and Southeast Asia. For one thing, temperatures here are cold, with April nights dropping toward zero Celsius. Bangkok was hitting the mid- to high-30s and humid in daytime and dropping only to 25 or so overnight. That was a real shock to the body. My skin here was drying out severely, my hands even cracking. I had to resort to oiling my skin with shea butter. The worst of it was over in about 10 days or less. In Thailand, the air is so moist you never have to worry about "moisturizing."

I had also forgot about how many layers of clothing you had to throw on. Leaving in the warmish sunny late morning for work, you had to be prepared for the cool or cold evening walk home. At times, I forgot where I was. I remember one morning  wearing my walking shorts and no shirt and opening the balcony door to go for a smoke and retreating like a scalded cat from the brittle cold breeze. 

Another shock -- I don't know why it is every time I come back home -- is the price of everything. Ten- and 20-dollar bills fly out of your pocket. That's 280 to 500-plus baht. You could actually eat three times in Bangkok in one day and only spend 100 baht. At the Londoner Brew pub, you can down four pints of a very good lager for a little over 300 baht, taxes and tip included. That would only get you  a pint and a half in Toronto before  tip. 

A single TTC fare of $2.75 would get you four trips in the Bangkok BTS Skytrain or MRT subway. That $2.75 (77 baht) would get you two air-con taxi rides in downtown Bangkok. In Toronto, the taxi pickup rate starts at $4 or 110 baht. The pick up rate in Bangkok is 35 baht and that gets you a long way before the meter starts its slow rise.

One nice thing about Toronto is that I can take transit all the way from the airport to home for $2.25 (token fare). (Limos are about $60 and taxis about $50 to my home.) Can't do that yet in Bangkok, although they are extending the Skytrain out to Swampy (nickname for the main international airport because it's built on a  . . . right . . . a swamp . . . a cobra swamp, in fact.) It's official name is: Suvarnabhumi (phonetically: Suwannaphum).

One not so nice thing is the oppressive regulatory environment here. A friend picked me up on the street and offered to drive me to work during a heavy rain. He dropped me off at the office and had to park momentarily on the bicycle laneway in front of the entrance, after rush hour when traffic is, frankly, quite light. Only other choice is block one of two traffic lanes. We sat a minute and talked and up behind us came a Parking Enforcement van, honking its horn. He honked a second time and I finally got out and ignored the officer. He was probably ready to give us a ticket. We caused exactly no problem for traffic. What's wrong with a cyclist, if there were any, riding out around a momentarily stationary vehicle? In all honesty, I prefer Bangkok's chaos. That's all I'm saying. For now.